Thanks-Vember 30, The End

30 Nov

Today marks the last day of November, and I was pretty good about blogging every day! Even with all the crazy deadlines and assignments and family commitments and theatre work I’ve been doing, I only missed a couple of days.

But I missed yesterday. I wasn’t thankful for anything yesterday. I was not in a good place the last few days. And today I decided to make an appointment with a school counselor. Most colleges and universities offer counseling services to their students, and I don’t know why more people don’t take advantage of it. College is stressful – even when, like me, you’ve already completed four years of it and are now back at it. Actually, maybe that makes it more stressful – when I was in college the first time, I didn’t have to pay rent for the years I lived at home or in the dorms, and when I did move out my financial aid covered almost everything, I just had to work a few hours a week to pay for fun things like movies. I got stressed about tests, and stressed about relationships, but nothing seemed too overwhelming.

But now, it’s hard. I’m struggling to pay rent, struggling to keep up with my schoolwork, I’m struggling to maintain my relationships, and let me tell you – I’m sick and tired of being broke. After college, I worked minimum wage jobs (or less – two years in AmeriCorps) and pinched every penny. There was a point when I wouldn’t use the clothes dryer in my apartment building because it cost $1.00. Instead I hung my wet clothes all over my apartment. I’m not that poor anymore, but I have to pinch and save and I want to buy my family and friends holiday gifts and bake and I just don’t know how I can do it all, and pass all my classes, and write all these papers. So I made a choice. It was sort of hard for me to make the appointment, I almost walked out. But I had a friend there for support, and that definitely helped.

Two days ago, The Bloggess tweeted:

“There would be less people coming out with “brave secrets” if everyone would just be honest about having the exact same secrets.”

(PS – she’s hilarious but don’t click if you’re easily offended)

So, I’m sharing my “brave secret” with you, because it seems like the thing to do. I decided I needed to talk to someone about all the stress I’m feeling. Is it normal to feel this stressed? Maybe not, and maybe this will help.

On this last day of November, this last day of publicly giving thanks – I’m thankful that my university offers a support net. I’m thankful that my classmates are also there to support me. And I’m thankful for all of you who read my blog.

Also, because I have gotten a lot out of this blog, and because I was inspired by Gretchen Reubin’s The Happiness Project, I’ve decided to start a Gratitude blog. I’m not going to have a daily post requirement for myself, but I’ll post regularly about things I am grateful for. I hope you’ll check it out!

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6 Responses to “Thanks-Vember 30, The End”

  1. teachingsparkle November 30, 2012 at 10:38 pm #

    I will tell you right now that I proudly see a counselor once a week. I think that counseling can benefit everyone and anyone if you enter the room with an open mind. I wouldn’t be functioning right now without it. My stress and anxiety seem to just creep up on me and to be able to talk to someone is AMAZING! Props to you for going, I know for many people it is a very difficult step to make, it was for me. I felt like I was a failure if I couldn’t manage my life on my own… but that is far from the truth. In fact, now I believe it to be quite opposite. Way to make positive and healthy choices for yourself! 🙂

    • teacherbecoming2013 December 1, 2012 at 9:49 am #

      I talked to family members recently and discovered there is a history of anxiety and depression, so I think it’s time to take steps and make sure I am the healthiest, happiest person I can be. It was exactly like you say – I feel like I should be able to manage my life, without help, but maybe that’s not true. Watching Liz Lemon and reading books on “How to organize your life” just don’t seem to be working!

  2. imgettingschooled December 1, 2012 at 11:18 pm #

    I think it’s great that you took advantage of the counseling services. I actually didn’t know that they were available. I’m one of those people who think that EVERYONE should go to counseling. Whether they feel good, bad, anywhere in between. I used to go in high school, occasionally in college, but haven’t since. When I was out of college I pretty much stopped because I couldn’t afford to go anymore. We are always at a different point in our lives and with change comes unfamiliarity. Unfamiliar in how to deal with new stresses. I know there are many out there that don’t feel the same way about counseling, but if we are to grow as individuals, guidance is always necessary. We should always show our students that we care just as much about their personal growth as their academic growth.

  3. curiousaboutteaching December 4, 2012 at 7:48 pm #

    I dropped by your blog for inspiration (as I often find it here!) and found that you might be the one who needs some encouragement today. I just want you to know that YOU are one of the things I am thankful for! Your insights and your willingness to ask tough questions inspire me.

    • teacherbecoming2013 December 4, 2012 at 10:57 pm #

      Thank you! I am thankful for you (and all our classmates), too.

  4. amys50 December 8, 2012 at 8:45 pm #

    I am thankful for you and all that you bring to our cohort. I am glad you are seeking out the support you need — nothing to be ashamed of. In fact, you set a great example to others. As future teachers, we need to make sure we take care of ourselves so that we can take care of our precious students (and our own families). Hope you can relax over the holidays!!

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